Seasonal Halloween Treats – GRRRRRRRR

I’m not a Halloween Scrooge, far from it! I like nothing better than dressing up like a tw*t and taking my kids knocking on random people’s doors asking for free stuff in a terribly unBritish like fashion.

However there is one thing that really gets my Halloween goat. The pathetic attempt by brands to cash in on it by making absolutely zero effort to spook up their products…

Cadburys WTF is so ‘scary’ about an orange cake bar?!?

scary orange

Unless i am mistaken Hartleys what is so fangtastic about your bog standard strawberry Jelly?


I love Pom-Bear. I would have lapped up Hellraiser style teddies. But if you bring out normal shaped pickled onion bears in a ‘Special Halloween Pack’ I am only going to assume you are trying to piggy-back the Monster Munch association – which incidentally does the flavour SO MUCH BETTER THAN ANYONE EVER COULD! Weak guys, weak.


How is small scary? Aren’t half sized treats actually just sh*tter?


Vampire Bites or Nana friendly tea cakes with jam? *shuddders*


More spooky orange cake bars?!? Can someone please tell me what is so scary about an orange? Is it because they look ever so slightly like tiny, pathetic pumpkins?


This ones really good Maynards  –  Just put a picture of a witch on your wine gums and call them ‘Spooky Treats’ – no need to go into details is there.


How about the very tenuous ‘Toffee Terror Whirls’? I nearly wet myself at the sight of these. Oh please don’t hurt me Mr. Kipling with your strange off-the-wall Viennese Whirl filling :(

Seasonal Halloween treats, I’m sorry but make a bit more effort or do one! Except the Screme egg – always awesome under any circumstance right?




P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


27 thoughts on “Seasonal Halloween Treats – GRRRRRRRR

  1. Carie

    Screme eggs are awesome, as are smarties pumpkins and Milkybar ghosts but as for the rest of them – perhaps it’s the added food colouring that’s supposed to be so terrifying!!

    1. Katie Post author

      I’m very down with stuff that’s moulded into spooky shapes or decorated but none or very little effort? Bah!

  2. brummymummyof2

    Scary Pom Bears? I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN! When did Halloween become such a thing? It as never a thing when we were little was it? Unless my rents were just really miserable? We had one manky plastic witch mask. And that. was. it! x

  3. Mummy to boyz

    I love the build up to Halloween and host a party ever since the boy was little but these #halloween’ treat suck! What annoys me even more is the ‘scary’ cupcakes which have a token themed haribo on them for about £10

  4. Not A Frumpy Mum

    Haha, brilliant. You’re so right, sticking a picture of a pumpkin on the packet does not really count as a Halloween treat. Although, come Saturday they will all be half price so there are a few positives!

    P.S. Your bunny on the right is still scaring me! xx

  5. Maddie Sinclair

    You’re so bloody right. I hadn’t realised it was so prolific. I try to avoid the sweetie/crisp aisle on every supermarket trip in an attempt to cut down on a) kiddie squabbling and b) oversized buttocks. Shame on those unscrupulous marketing bods (whoops – that’s me… oh… and you!)


  6. Jess @ Along Came Cherry

    Haha I’ve never even thought about this but you are so right! What a con! And you’ve reminded me I’d better stock up on treats for tomorrow night, it always reminds me of Halloween night for years ago when I was on the sofa having contractions while Mr C kept running to open the door, the poor kids must have been terrified by my screams! x

  7. Sam

    I nearly put my packet of sausages back today as I thought I’d picked up the wrong thing…yes…they had Halloween type wrapping!!! But what really gets my goat are Halloween “crackers”!!! Crackers belong to another festival altogether!!!

  8. Notmyyearoff

    You laugh now but what if those terror whirls come flying at you on Halloween out of nowhere, ready to slice you up? I’m sure I have some blood rolls in the cupboard, I suddenly feel peckish!

  9. Honest mum

    Hilarious and I’ve not succumbed, yet. Am getting into the Halloween spirit (sorry) but all this feels a bit explorative and for such a short period of time too x

  10. Tia

    Ha haaa. I am so with you! Thank you for making me laugh (impressive feat considering it’s not 6am yet!) Tia from little button diaries xx

  11. Tom Briggs

    Ha! Very true. I found myself asking the self-same question about Mr Kipling’s contribution to Halloween nosh the other day. I think they could only really be scary to diabetics – I did the responsible thing and ate them all to save my Mum with her type two diabetes…

  12. Jo

    Shows i live in the sticks – never seen screme eggs but will get a box of half a doz to make omelettes with tomorrow.
    Pumpkin bashed in last time so were very ginger today and opened door reluctantly. Huge box of chocs but they all disappeared in under an hour. Then we turned off the lights and sat as quiet as Anne Frank in her attic. Hope you survived it all xx

  13. Jenny

    Brilliant Katie. You just made my morning with these. I even chortle out loud and the kids gave me that what the hell is she doing now look. hahahaa So funny. Agreed upon all although I have to throw my hands up on the screme egg… not a fan of creme eggs so I dare not touch the Halloween version either. I know don’t de-friend now! lol

  14. Jess Paterson

    I agreed with this so much when i first read it I forgot to comment – but I’m pleased to be reminded you are a fellow pickled onion Monster Munch fanatic. Will be making an appearance on Sunday morning for the Blogfest hangover ;) x

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