So like most first time mums I did the whole NCT schizzle.
It was ok, you know once you got used to the awkwardness associated with being forced together with a group of strangers with a single patch of common ground.
Like most groups of mums we did the whole discussing and comparing our babies development – sleeping, eating, moving, yada yada yada. It became apparent that the bonding process consisted largely of stealth boasting on behalf of your baby.
Prizes were awarded to babies in the following categories:-
- Longest amount of uninterrupted sleep
- Best at self settling
- Length of time between feeds
- Strongest neck
- Quickest to roll
- Most placid
- Most consistent routine
Anyway I was down with this, I knew the score. I didn’t actually give a rats arse but as part of the camaraderie I joined In regardless. It was mostly a load of bullshit – everyone knew everyone else was bullshitting too, but that was part of the fun.
I was in the healthy child drop in clinic the other day and as i was waiting to get baby S weighed i was ear-wigging on the conversation another mum was having with the Health Visitor about her 6 month old daughter. It went something like this: –
Flustered Mum “So i leave the room and she just starts crying, so i wait 15 minutes before going back in but she won’t stop crying – should i wait even longer?”
HV “No you can’t leave a baby that young to cry for 15 minutes”
Flustered Mum “But the last Health Visitor i saw told me to leave her for 15 minutes? What do you think i should do then?”
HV “Well to me it sounds like she could be overtired – Have you tried bringing her bedtime forwards?”
Increasingly flustered Mum “No – i was told to try putting her to bed later as perhaps she isn’t tired enough”
HV “Well maybe it’s a hunger thing, maybe you need to up her solids in the day”
Very Irate and flustered Mum “She’s eating loads – everyone keeps telling me different stuff! How am i meant to know who is right?”