*** Please note that ALL characters and events in this story are completely fictional and any similarities to real life is COMPLETELY coincidental ***
So… THE MUMS NIGHT OUT!
You know the one right? The one it’s taken 2.5 years to organise because someone has always been pregnant or breastfeeding.
Well tonight’s the night and EVERYONE can attend!
That is until you get a phone call from Lucy…
Never mind, Lucy was always boring as shit anyway.
Now it’s time to get ready. The problem is that you have absolutely no idea what the youth of today wear anymore. You went into Topshop to have a look around but it was a loud, terrifying place full of bright lights and teeny tiny items of mouse sized clothing.
Don’t worry It’s ok to be scared sometimes, it’s hard getting old! Have a cup of tea and a biscuit and feel much better.
So you now have three options: –
1. Wear one of your too small/short/tarty pre-kids clubbing outfits
2. Wear a flowery tea dress and hope for the best
3. Just stay in and watch the telly
3 is very, very temping but you could make 2 work if you wear the right make up. Put on a bright statement lipstick to detract from your eye-bags and then cover your entire face in Touche Éclat.
TOP TIP! Drink whilst you do your make up because it makes you think it looks better.