To the guy who recently wrote ‘I’m Blocking Your Baby’s Facebook Photos’,
Firstly don’t worry; I’m sure none of your friends with children would have a grievance with your decision to block them. If it were me on the receiving end I would only be disappointed to have approved your friend request in the first place – because I thought you might be interested and proud to see the smiling faces of my kids? I count them as a pretty big achievement you know, I thought you might get that too.
I guess it must have been pretty liberating editing people from your life. Fair play, your choice. One thing that confuses me however is your need to do it so publicly. Is it not as much fun if you don’t tell everybody else? Are you trying to guilt trip us all into following suit? Is it all just a big screw you to facebook and instagram, do you think they would actually care?
I wonder if you would prefer we all post miserable photos instead, perhaps then we could all feel downbeat together? I am all for honest parenting and sharing the bad as well as the good but unfortunately there are no prizes for having the most difficult kid. I wish my children would do what I say but I’m afraid I am all too frequently the guy you describe in your article…
‘’Recently we were leaving the zoo at the same time as a dad who was carrying his screaming toddler to the car. He was calm, walking at a normal pace, while she was worked up to hurricane force. I wanted to go all Secret Service on this guy: set a perimeter around him, quietly and efficiently move people out of his way so they could get to their car and head home. Keeping your cool takes tremendous effort. Knowing what it takes, and that I don’t always have it, keeps me ready to stand up with people who are showing (and in need of) mercy’’
OR maybe he appeared calm because he actually was. Maybe he was just thinking about what type of car he would buy if he won the lottery and maybe she had just remembered she left her hair straighters on. That guy was not some sort of martyr, he was just a parent getting on with it like everyone else, you don’t get a medal for taking care of you own kids and you don’t need bizarre makeshift perimeters constructed around you either.
All the stuff you describe – crying babies, lack of sleep, petulant toddlers is just normal stuff that everyone goes through. I’ve found reaching a level of acceptance works best for me. Well acceptance and gin, together they make me a mostly happy parent. Comparing and and competing doesn’t.
You know maybe we could just accept that social media is and always will be an edited version of life. Maybe one of your friends, that you ended up blocking, got one good shot after a hard day and preferred to keep that image in her head. Maybe the likes and comments gave her the boost she needed to do it all again tomorrow.
So just for you here is a picture of my youngest eating angel delight for the first time. Does it make you resent me? See I’ll be betting there are a whole bunch of people out there than don’t even know me, and that can enjoy a cute picture of my kid and raise a smile none the less.
It’s called feeling happy for people – maybe you should try it.
Try gin too.
**************P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)
Loved this post and the pic your youngest cutie eating his angel delight :) You’re right, everyone has a moan and a groan but sometimes we need to remember that little 5 minutes when we get a hug instead of a tantrum xx
Facebook can be so divisive. I have good days and bad days on there – sometimes I do end up coming away feeling jealous and inadequate – other days I find myself laughing and smiling and nodding and chatting and engaging and I love it! You’re so right that writing an article like this guy did and having it published is a *slight* over-reaction and completely self-centred. PS I love that Angel delights your gorgeous boy!! X :-)
Yep i totally get it can be upsetting or annoying depending on your mood/circumstance but not to the extent you feel the need to tell EVERYONE! thanks lovely xx
Yup. He makes me smile. What a cutie! :) What is wrong with some people??
Your baby is adorable! :)
Love this post – couldn’t finish the original article. What a douche!
I honestly can’t bear people like this, precisely the reason I only share pics on twitter and IG!! I’d rather see a sea of kids faces then the pics of people going to the same club every Saturday and the “I’m out of my face” statuses. fab post xxx
I am also not sure why pictures of children are so off limits but it’s ok to post pictures of a massive piss up or hugely inappropriate selfies? Go figure.
Ha ha that’s just it, isn’t it! I don’t mind seeing anything really to be fair – i would just unfollow anyone who really annoyed me, i certainly wouldn’t make an issue out of it though x
I missed the original article – one of the joys of not doing Facebook but it does seem a funny thing to do so publicly – and I love the angel delight picture – seeing pictures of people happy is one of the best things about instagram and twitter!
People are so weird, if you don’t like something, move on! No need for it to be announced to everyone.
Adorable photo,but umm it should be chocolate Angel Delight, with choc buttons sprinkled on top!
oooops sorry ;) that does sound good! x
The reason I am uncomfortable about people posting lots of pictures of and stories about their children on FB is not about me, nor the parents, its about the privacy of the child. I appreciate that not everyone feels the same but I would have been mortified that photos of my childhood and conversations I had considered to be private between my parents and I had been shared with sometimes hundreds of others. I also find it sad that instead of being in the moment and just enjoying something both parent and child are posing for their facebook picture and that intense private connection is diminished.
I guess its a personal thing but i would have loved to read memories about me when i was young. I guess things are very likely to chance depending on ages though – i certainly would not have tolerated it as a teenager!
Totally agree with you. There are some strange people out there who feel the need to announce things like this in the expectation that people will find them interesting. I don’t. Some of the people I follow on Facebook (and Twitter) do have a tendency to over-share, but if they’re good friends I don’t mind and if they’re only casual acquaintances I can unfollow them quietly. I don’t feel the need to shout it to the world any more than I feel it necessary to announce that I’ve decided to change cereal brands. Strange things, people. I’d rather my friends posted a few too many kids’ photos than some of the stupid/sick/pointless stuff that seems to clutter up Facebook elsewhere.
Well cute. Your boy of course not the man being a mis, If they don’t like it they can always block or unfollow. They don’t have to read or see it, that’s what I always think – their loss. Some of the best photos I have are of the kids being right idiots at the dinner table or in their high chair! xxx
“One thing that confuses me however is your need to do it so publicly. Is it not as much fun if you don’t tell everybody else?”
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there m’dear!
LOVE the photo!! ;) x
Love the wee angel’s delight! The joys of Facebook, I like it but only because I’m too lazy to print out photos/write letters with family updates to our nearest and dearest.
I actually read the original article slightly differently, perhaps it had the wrong title but the author seemed to say to me that his first year of parenthood had almost been a disappointment as it wasn’t what the brochure had promised. He had expected to have the cute photos and comments to make on FB but didn’t.
I’ve been there with a child that screams constantly and doesn’t sleep or settle (other than when there is human warmth to snuggle), it’s exhausting and to be honest there aren’t many pictures to share with the world as you are just too tired to take them and neither parent is looking at their best.
Our ‘first year’ photos are pretty much all taken by others as we just didn’t manage to pick up a camera and almost missed it in a sleepless dazed confusion wondering what the hell had happened. Things are better now but there is a little bit of guilt a I look back on a distinct lack of photographic memories, far more pictures of our second child!
Ahh really that’s interesting as we have far more of our first. So much more time i guess. He wasn’t an easy baby but certainly very smiley and giggly when he was happy :)
I just think the most important thing is to try not to compare x
Some people are just bloody miserable and extremely narrow minded. A lot of my friends are not really in to babies, kids, etc., and I trust them to just flick on past the pictures they’re not interested in but on the whole they find the weird things my boys do quite amusing. Just as I enjoy their pictures of cats or holidays without kids where they get to drinks lots and post about not getting up until midday. It’s quite nice being a well rounded person and not vicious about other people’s choices. Love the angel delight pic. Who wouldn’t?!