Blogging and stats go hand in hand. I tend to try and not pay too much attention to them because in reality they don’t mean much and although it’s nice to see the number of readers increase, it’s really not the be all and end all (well that Is my public stance on it anyway).
One of the things I will never grow tired of however is looking at the search terms that generated visits to Hurrah For Gin; or for the less technically minded, what people typed into Google before clicking through to my blog. Funnily, a lot of the queries seem to be in the form of questions or problems. I guess people were hoping to find authoritative parenting advice and I guess they were sadly disappointed.
Anyway in order to try and right those wrongs and be a bit more helpful than the utterly unhelpful pages that they obviously ended up on, I will attempt to answer some of my favourites as best I can. So here we go with my list of the utterly ridiculous and random search terms that I have witnessed in my first year as a blogger: –
- ‘Is it nearly wine day?’ – Yes it’s today!
- ‘Is it good to swear?’ – It certainly is.
- ‘Is swearing at children ever appropriate?’ – When they throw your phone down the stairs or headbutt you in the crotch, yes. Little sh*ts.
- ‘The gin toddler diet’ – Don’t waste good gin on toddlers.
- ‘Gin for sleep’ – Good call.
- ‘Is drinking and breastfeeding ok?’ – I can’t publicly condone it but what I will say, is that it is all about the timing ;)
- ‘How much gin goes into breast milk?’ – I don’t know the scientific answer so lets just say hardly any.
- ‘Jedi workout breastfeeding’ – WTAF?!
- ‘I have the feeling I am being watched?’ – You are.
- ‘Pony roller-skates’ – Sorry I can’t help you here.
- ‘I still love you in 2014′ – Thanks but as in 2013, I’m just not interested.
- ‘I’m a teenage girl and my mum wants me to wear Clarks shoes to school?’ – Disown the b*tch.
- ‘Topsy and Tim, better with gin’ – Obviously (Side note – this term alone has generated 8 visits this month! It feels good to know that there are at least 9 of us in a little Topsy and Tim 5.20pm gin club)
- ‘I will never leave you’ – Thank you very much.
- ‘Red wine birth stories’ – Not quite sure exactly what this one means but it could be a nice idea for a feature?!
- ‘Can you eat the Babybel cheese wax?’ – Best bit!
- ‘Kirstie Allsopp hot or not?’ – HOT
- ‘Life is a pile of crap’ – :(
- ‘Two sad cats’ – :((
- ‘Is it bad parenting to not enjoy playing with your kids?’ – No it’s just called honest parenting.
*****DRUM ROLL FOR MY BEST SEARCH TERM EVER*****
- ‘My son keeps pretending to be Topsy from Topsy and Tim’ – You poor, poor cow! Thank you though, because when I am having the day from hell all I need to do is remind myself that it could always be worse. At least I am not you.
**************P.S. I have TWO books out now! You can nab them on Amazon here or in all good bookshops and supermarkets :)