What random searchy things bring people to my blog?

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Blogging and stats go hand in hand. I tend to try and not pay too much attention to them because in reality they don’t mean much and although it’s nice to see the number of readers increase, it’s really not the be all and end all (well that Is my public stance on it anyway).

One of the things I will never grow tired of however is looking at the search terms that generated visits to Hurrah For Gin; or for the less technically minded, what people typed into Google before clicking through to my blog. Funnily, a lot of the queries seem to be in the form of questions or problems. I guess people were hoping to find authoritative parenting advice and I guess they were sadly disappointed.

Anyway in order to try and right those wrongs and be a bit more helpful than the utterly unhelpful pages that they obviously ended up on, I will attempt to answer some of my favourites as best I can. So here we go with my list of the utterly ridiculous and random search terms that I have witnessed in my first year as a blogger: –

  • ‘Is it nearly wine day?’  – Yes it’s today!
  • ‘Is it good to swear?’ – It certainly is.
  • ‘Is swearing at children ever appropriate?’ – When they throw your phone down the stairs or headbutt you in the crotch, yes. Little sh*ts.
  • ‘The gin toddler diet’ – Don’t waste good gin on toddlers.
  • ‘Gin for sleep’ – Good call.
  • ‘Is drinking and breastfeeding ok?’ – I can’t publicly condone it but what I will say, is that it is all about the timing ;)
  • ‘How much gin goes into breast milk?’ – I don’t know the scientific answer so lets just say hardly any.
  • ‘Jedi workout breastfeeding’ – WTAF?!
  • ‘I have the feeling I am being watched?’ – You are.
  • ‘Pony roller-skates’ – Sorry I can’t help you here.
  • ‘I still love you in 2014′Thanks but as in 2013, I’m just not interested.
  • ‘I’m a teenage girl and my mum wants me to wear Clarks shoes to school?’ –  Disown the b*tch.
  • ‘Topsy and Tim, better with gin’ – Obviously (Side note – this term alone has generated 8 visits this month! It feels good to know that there are at least 9 of us in a little Topsy and Tim 5.20pm gin club)
  • ‘I will never leave you’ – Thank you very much.
  • ‘Red wine birth stories’ – Not quite sure exactly what this one means but it could be a nice idea for a feature?!
  • ‘Can you eat the Babybel cheese wax?’ – Best bit! 
  • ‘Kirstie Allsopp hot or not?’ – HOT
  • ‘Life is a pile of crap’ – :(
  • ‘Two sad cats’:((
  • ‘Is it bad parenting to not enjoy playing with your kids?’ – No it’s just called honest parenting.

*****DRUM ROLL FOR MY BEST SEARCH TERM EVER*****

  • ‘My son keeps pretending to be Topsy from Topsy and Tim’You poor, poor cow! Thank you though, because when I am having the day from hell all I need to do is remind myself that it could always be worse. At least I am not you. 

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Psssssst my new book is out NOW in all good bookshops and supermarkets or you can nab copies from Amazon here :)

If you like you can also come drink gin with me on my book tour!  Dates and locations are here

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42 thoughts on “What random searchy things bring people to my blog?

  1. Mummy Says

    Katie, once again you have me in stitches. I too feel sorry for that poor woman! You know how I feel about the always bloody cheery Topsy and Tim. Little sods. (Funnily enough, though, they’re one of the most searched for terms on my blog – so thanks to them for the traffic!) Superb post xx

    Reply
  2. Sam

    That is hysterical Katie! You have missed your vocation as an agony aunt. That last one – oh my days! If my son ever pretends to be Topsy from Topsy and Tim I think I will have to resort to the hubster’s favourite parenting threat: “Orphanage!” :-) X

    Reply
  3. Katie

    Brilliant blog. Topsy and Tim are the bane of my life. Gin should be added. 8 year old kids pretending to be 4 year olds, grrrrrr. My 3 year old actually has imaginary children called Topsy and Tim so they are with us 24/7! Feel my pain.
    Ps autocorrect originally changed it to Tipsy and Tim, so much better.
    Ps2 love your blog

    Reply
  4. Not A Frumpy Mum

    This has made me giggle, especially the last one! My husband just asked what I’m laughing at and I just got a pitying look when I tried to explain!
    O made me watch Topsy and Tim last week, never again!!! xxx

    Reply
  5. Katie @mummydaddyme

    hahahahahahaha I love this and I love you Ms Katie- so funny. One of my top weird search terms is ‘hairy Mummy.’ Which to be honest is pretty insulting. I hope that they found what they were looking for. ;)

    Reply
  6. Donna

    I have a post exactly like this in drafts!!! You TOTALLY stole my idea ;) hahaha! I’ll have to hold it off for 6 months now so people don’t think I copied you ;)
    Hilarious! I love that most of them involve alcohol but WHERE IS POSTMAN PAT?! x

    Reply
  7. Carie

    It’s the red wine birth stories one that I really want to know what they were looking for, it sounds like a great alternative form of pain relief to me!!

    Reply
  8. Cerys

    THIS IS GENIUS!! Two of my fave searches to my blog I think are “oops mud on tits” and “does mascara have fly poop in it”…where do they get these people??!!

    Reply
  9. Jenny

    This is absolutely beyond brilliant Katie. You always seem to out do yourself everytime. I have never looked at what search terms I have got visitors by but bet your dollar I am going to go do it now. I hope it wasn’t anything as insulting as MummyDaddyMe hairy Mummy? hahaha Or Gin toddler diet that’s just crazy maybe gin parent diet for sure! lol Thanks for making me laugh and making me go look what I have come up with. :)

    Reply
  10. Jude

    This is a cracking list! Wow, though I have a confession; Jedi Workout Breatfeeding. That was me. And Pony Roller Skates. NOT. So glad I found you, through none of the above. Laughing into the night re my son pretending to be Topsy. x

    Reply
  11. Pingback: The Wonders of Search Engines - Redhead Babyled

  12. Franglaise Mummy

    Oh I bloody love this! Yours are so much more fun than mine, having said that I haven’t looked at mine for ages *wanders over for a nose now*
    I think my favourite of yours is Jedi workout breastfeeding. Genius!

    Reply

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