Today You Are Five!

Dearest boy, today you are half a decade old and it’s scaring me a bit. If I click my fingers will you turn 10? You see the older you get the more time seems to fly.

But as much as I sometimes wish that I could slow life down, everyday I enjoy getting to know you more and more. This year has been about big changes and big milestones, starting school, riding a bike, falling in love! You’ve done so well for one so small but there are elements of sadness about it too, suddenly everything you once loved being declared babyish. All around us are scattered and broken remnants or your past obsessions…

Age 1. Me
Age 2. Fireman Sam
Age 3. Postman pat
Age 4. Lightning McQueen
Age 5. Darth Vader

I’ve been ditched for the dark side already!

At five you like – Saying everything is ‘Epic’, talking in an American accent, making guns, swords and weapons out of anything vaguely stick shaped, climbing, jumping, shouting, performing your fighting moves to anyone who will agree to watch, space, castles, learning about your body, talking about poo, building crazy stuff out of lego, cheese sandwiches, your top bunk, hot chocolate with squirty cream, being chased, Power Rangers and chicken korma or ‘Mummy’s curry’ as you like to call it.

You really don’t like – having to go home from anywhere, getting dressed, learning phonics, rain, spiders, tidying up, sitting still, vegetables, going to bed, clothes shopping, anything being thrown away (even a broken toaster), the sea when it’s really rough, the dark, bad dreams and your brother smashing up your lego.

You are a rough and tumble boy, there is no denying it, but you have a very sensitive side too. When you go shopping with your daddy you love picking a bunch of flowers to give me when you come home (he is teaching you well). You tell me how lovely I look in a certain dress or how beautiful I am, and I feel it too because yours is one of the only opinions that matter now.

But as much as you are growing up so fast there are still so many traces of your innocence left…

You: Why is chicken called chicken?
Me: Because it’s chicken.
You: But it’s not chicken like an actual chicken is it? That would be silly because you don’t eat chickens!
Me: Um… yes you do…

(You still don’t believe me.)

And for all of your cool talk and bravado, you still like to talk to Henry the Hoover, I put on the voice I always have when I get him out of the cupboard and you ask him questions and tell him about your day, I’m sorry to embarrass you but it’s damn cute… when I pack him away again you tell him you hope he won’t be too lonely until next time.

A couple of days ago we had a rare afternoon of me and you time, something I only wish I could do more of. We played crazy golf and I swear it was one of the funniest half hours of my life. As I watched you crack the ball repeatedly with the wrong end of the club, swing it around in the air above your head, all the while huffing and puffing and then finally picking the ball up and placing it in the hole with your hand, I laughed so much my sides hurt.

It summed up everything that I want to remember about you at five – impatient, determined, hilarious, frustrated, random, competitive and so much fun (when you want to be). Perhaps just a little bit like me ;)

Winner (ahem).

Last night on the eve of your big day you cried yourself to sleep, you were so excited and the concept of just one more sleep way too much to bear. I can’t blame you – oh to be five, care free and have a whole bunch of awesome presents waiting for you!

It was a rather civilised 12.45pm when you were born, I was so relieved to have you safely in my arms. Half a decade later at exactly the same time we bought you your first Nando’s which seemed pretty profound. sort of. It was raining OK!

But you had a great day of lightsaber fights, lego and swimming. It was simple but that always seems to suit you best. I write this as you drink your bedtime milk and you just shouted over that it was ‘THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVEEEEEERRRRR!’ so I guess that’s a win.

You teach me so much every day little man, you bring me into the moment and I’m sure you are making me a better person. I know 5 might feel big, but it’s not so big really. Nowhere near big enough to drop cuddles or the ‘my’ off ‘mummy’ so don’t you dare.

Please keep talking to the hoover just a little while longer lady killer! We all love you to the end of the numbers or ‘Invinity’ as you like to say. Happy birthday my beautiful xxx



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


13 thoughts on “Today You Are Five!

  1. Suzanne3Childrenandit

    Ah another one that makes me want to weep. I am never, ever going to let my big boy stop cuddling me and he’s 10! Trust me, once a mummy’s boy, always a mummy’s boy ;) Lovely post. Happy Birthday to your big, little man. xx

  2. Kate Chapman

    This has brought tears to my eyes – my girl turned 5 recently, and the thought of her growing up so quickly is unbearable. You’re so right, the bigger they get, the faster it goes sob sob. Beautiful post – and birthday wishes to your little man x

  3. Laura

    I love your hilarious (gin related) posts, but these always get me right there *slaps chest theatrically*

    I can’t believe my little boy will be starting school next year. I don’t know where the time goes. Happy birthday to your half-a-decade-er. He looks like a very lovely, happy young man xx

  4. Victoria

    Having only a (recently) one year old, this is all quite new to me. I actually loved his birthday and didn’t get emotional at all – it was truly a celebration, because I really didn’t enjoy his newborn-ness at all.. far too much puking (him) and insecurity (me), and not nearly enough smug-mum moments. But I am now anxious about him growing out of this lovely toddler stage, and I can see that by his fifth birthday I’m going to be a wreck. Happy birthday to your little man. I hope mine enjoys his just as much, when we get there. xx

  5. Adrian

    Hilarious as always and very sweet and really sad too. Oh dear. I want to be able to talk about Postman Pat with Little B but I also fear he won’t need me or think I’m really old when he grows up. I will be really old but that’ll teach me to wait so long before becoming a dad.
    Love the chicken chat. I dont like to think about that either #crapnonvegetarian

  6. Emma T

    Aw, lovely post. Sounds like he had the perfect birthday for a 5 year old and he’s a fun little (big) boy to have around.

    My 4 year old’s already announced he wants a big party – I’m trying to steer him towards a joint one with his best friend (sharing the class numbers and NCT group between them mean half the cost, and predominantly mutual friends), or just something small like bowling and a meal out with a couple of friends. He’s got until January to wait, but it seems to be approaching rapidly.

  7. Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely

    I love your funny posts but the ones about your boys are still my favourites. Your two seem uncannily like mine. It’s scary. Almost as if they’ve been cloned and sent to live at opposite ends of the country. Congratulations for five years of looking after possibly one of the coolest kids ever x

  8. Gemma S

    Such a lovely post. Totally cliche but we really should cherish every moment as it goes too fast. Such a lovely tradition to write a letter every birthday. Wish I’d have done something like that but strughled to even fill in tje baby book. Also nice to know that I’m not the only one who has to do a voice for Henry. My 3 yr old has been obsessed with Henry since before he was 1 and they (& me) often have a chat.

  9. Gem

    Lovely post. It’s so lovely to read the round up of where he’s at currently. So nice to remember as he gets closer to the decade *gulp* Happy Birthday little man x


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