The baby wanted:-
- Unlimited access to wires and plugs sockets.
- To play the ‘vacuum baby’ game ALL day long.
- To snap the cd tray off the x-box.
- REAL keys, phones and remote controls. Stop buying the toy stuff it’s shit.
- To eat the cat.
The boy wanted:-
- Daddy to sell the car and buy a new one because I DON’T LIKE BLUE – I LIKE RED!
- To drive the car on my own.
- A real boat.
- A vat of PVA glue with no quantity rationing.
- All of the 234 die cast Disney cars and Mack the truck for ‘my collection’.
Mummy wanted: –
- 12 hours alone in a dark room.
- A label maker.
- A spa day.
Daddy wanted: –
- A season ticket to Arsenal (WTAF?!)
- A PlayStation 4.
- Some space and time to brew my own beer.
The cat wanted: –
- Some attention.
- A bit of attention?
- A very tiny bit of attention?
- A new cat bowl that colour co-ordinates with the rest of the kitchen.
**************P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)