Me and F had a conversation the other day, I’m not quite sure how it started but we were talking about families…
‘When you grow up you might want to get married like mummy and daddy.’
‘What? What’s married?’
‘It’s when you find a best friend and you want to live with them and be with them forever.’
*Long pause as TINY MIND IS BLOWN, followed by scared look*
He gazes up at the ceiling and shakes his head from side to side as he does when he’s trying to find the right words in the right order.
‘But, but, but, but… and not be with you Mummy?’
How do you explain the future to a 3 year old who can’t see past the end of his elbow and who has only just fathomed the concept of tomorrow.
I open my arms and he links his hands behind my neck and swings his legs around my waist. He’s heavy and I wonder if this will be one of the last times I scoop him up like this. Or if this will be one of the last times he will want to be scooped.
Suddenly I’m almost nostalgic for the times I have spent 2 hours watching him zip around the park only for him to insist I carry him home. The days of struggling home with a baby in a buggy, small child slipping down my hip and scooter over my shoulder, I know will soon be over.
I look deep into his confused little eyes and tell him straight.
‘You are my best friend and I will never leave you.’
And it’s true.
Because I know he will be the one that leaves me.