The perils of a chatty kid

F will pretty much talk to anyone wherever we go. I like this. it’s nice and for the most part it’s very well received. Builders, postmen or the local crazy cat lady all seem happy to be interrupted to discuss what they are doing any why; For the bus stop drunk, it’s a rare chance to converse with someone on the same level. Everyone’s a winner.

If unfriendliness is whats wrong with modern day society then i often think i could take a leaf out of his book myself, but then perhaps telling window cleaners you admire their big ladders might not be as well received from someone in their mid thirties; Or i guess, too well received, depending on how you look it.

Exchanges i am not quite so keen on are the ‘do you have a beard?’ interrogations aimed directly at women in small, inescapable places (train carriages are a particular hot spot). It would not be half as bad if they actually did and i could convince myself that his frankness was for want of the greater good. But In most cases they don’t even have a hint of peach fuzz, so what do you do? Arguing against it just draws the conversation out making things even more awkward. I’m sure he has caused at least half a dozen young women to run home and scrutinize every inch of their lower face in the mirror before stalking Groupon for electrolysis deals, just to make sure.

But the worst, the absolute worst, is when he talks to teenagers. Boys in particular. Ones that have absolutely no interest in kids. It’s like he can sniff them out a mile away. If they are smoking or drinking in a secluded area of the park and generally trying to avoid prying eyes, even better.


Is it bad in a situation such as this to try and hide behind a tree and deny your own child? I can’t seem to shake the inner 15 year old in me that is desperate to avoid being dissed by the cool gang.


Do your kids ever do that thing where they introduce you as ‘Mummy’ to other people like its your actual first name? Sometimes it’s super cute and sometimes you are just thinking PLEASE DON’T INTRODUCE ME AS MUMMY.


So, um, when does ‘shy’ kick in?

p.s crazy cat lady is feeding tinned tuna to the seagulls outside her house because they need more energy prior to nest building season (in case you are interested).



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


36 thoughts on “The perils of a chatty kid

  1. Mummy to boyz

    Ha ha this is O too! He can sometimes take it further and attach himself to another family and ask them to lift his kite or sit at their table whilst at the park & tries to join in with their picnic! x

  2. cariemay

    Apparently shy kicks in when Kitty comes into my office (she was poorly so we had to go get some work for Mummy to do at home) – she’ll quite happily chat to everyone else around but the minute she walked in she clammed up and spent the whole half hour colouring in my post it notes! I find the funniest thing to be when the teenagers treat you like a proper grown up not someone they can get away with dissing!

  3. TotstoTravel (@TotstoTravel)

    Think yourself lucky – my 5yo is painfully shy and we’re are lucky to get more than one word out of her at school… but a totally chatterbox at home… it’s as if she stores it all up… don’t know what to do with her! Luckily teachers really understanding and helpful!

  4. loupops

    This made me laugh… We have it all to come. It’s bad enough having to make inane chat with strangers on dog walks when your dogs decide to befriend each other!! I hate it! Haha

  5. Emma

    So funny. And so true. I was once asked in a stage whisper on a bus ‘Is that a man or a woman?’ About an old lady. She DID have a beard, as it happens. (And I’ve already voted for you obvs.)

  6. mummydaddyme

    Mads is just going through that stage where you worry what will come out of her mouth. She once shouted at a man walking through town without a top on ‘MUMMY WHY IS THAT REALLY FAT MAN NAKED?’ ;) To be fair I was thinking the same thing!

  7. suzanne3childrenandit

    Ha ha ha, this is so funny! Loving the innocence of your little man, it’s a shame this gets kicked out of them once fear of rejection kicks in…don’t worry, it’s just around the corner, right about the time he starts school :( Embrace it lady!

  8. Jules smith

    My son talks to everyone and makes up names for them. We see 2 teenage boys on way to nursery who he has decided are called Jack and Meat. Workmen are his favourite. Any van we pass I hear “Oi man. What’s ur name?” Although this is infinitely preferable to when during a tantrum a friendly man asked if he was ok only to be rewarded by a punch in the nuts from the irate 3 yr old. I have never been so embarassed. He is normally delightful to other people. A bad moment on a bad day, but wow what a moment. I was speechless and bright red dragging away child mumbling apologies and reprimanding at the same time. Poor man hobbled away, tears in his eyes muttering that it was quite alright. While thinking I’m sure about my poor parenting skills and horrid child

      1. saetana

        You’re welcome – I don’t have any children (by choice) but your blog is so funny, hence the Best Writer nomination ;o)

  9. Notmyyearoff

    Haha!! Why are kids so obsessed with beards? Z is constantly asking me about my beard and moustache too. (Where it is I mean, not on the condition of it. Ahem). Thankfully he’s not asked anyone in public…..yet!

  10. WallyMummy

    heehee x I have a little chatterbox too. I particularly love it when she goes up to women, points at them and shouts ‘Man! Man! Man!’. Yes. I love that.

  11. brummymummyof2

    We had ‘look at that ladies hair’ on a empty bus and when the girl saw a family of dwarves I thought her head would explode. I had to drag her away. Funny stuff! xxx

  12. Donna

    Luckily we haven’t got to the chatty stage yet, when we do I think I’ll be dragging A in the opposite direction of the teenage boys in case they start making ginger jokes!

  13. 3yearsandhome

    Oh dear Lord, I worry about this every time we leave the house. CK’s two favourite describing words are spicy and gorgeous and he points at people and says them ALL the time. I just try and hide my face. It wasn’t so bad when we were in Switzerland as it was less likely they’d be able to understand him. Now, it’s awful

  14. Michelle Twin Mum

    Lol, they do get better as they get older (well a little bit). My 10 year old still shouts inappropriate stuff about passers by with the windows wide open! Mich x

  15. domesstique

    Awww haha this is so #funee. I love it! On our morning walk to pre-school, Olivia saw her friend and introduced me “this is my mummy” and the little boy ran off! lol *__*

  16. TalesofaTwinMum

    Love it. Again, I swear your son and my boys are in the same secret society. They chase after teenagers constantly, and they’re so proud to tag on to a gang of bigger boys if they’re walking ahead of us. They usually strike up a conversation with them along the lines of “I like worms. Do you like worms?” at which point I wait for the ground to swallow me up. Worse is when a lady walks past us and they shout “Look at that man” because, despite being 4yo they still haven’t grasped the difference between he and she yet. We even have a red bike (and a blue bike) too that gets introduced. x

  17. FamilyFourFun

    So funny and so true, we have to walk past a boys high school on the way home so are regularly drawn into awkward and unwanted conversations. The worst is when my older two at 7&9 start giggling at them or asking too many questions whilst I’m pretending they’re not there. Although I heard another mother with a buggy snap at them the other day because they were inconsiderate for not getting out her way and thought – I’d prefer to still feel a bit like one of them than her! xx


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