The hiding stuff you really need game


Aim: To right royally f*ck up the day/week/bank balance

How to play:

  • The oldest person is usually the seeker (it is possible to reverse this rule but its kinda akin to sh*tting on your own doorstep)
  • It works best if there are 2 or more hiders – one non-verbal player who can’t be questioned and one verbal player who can be questioned, but doesn’t give a rat’s arse
  • The best objects to hide are vital to the planned activity of the day i.e keys, phone, passports, shoes, sanity etc
  • Essentially hiders should just be incredibly, incredibly annoying. Apart from that there really are no rules.

Points system – The hider accrues points as follows:-

  • +1 for each minute said item is lost for
  • +5 for an original location
  • +10 for each swearword uttered
  • +15 for a screaming fit
  • +20 for missing an appointment/class
  • +25 for punching Upsy Daisy in the face
  • +30 for sorting through the contents of the kitchen bin
  • +35 for sorting though the bin and required item not even being there
  • +40 for cancelling cards
  • +50 for retrieving item from the toilet
  • +75 for retrieving item from the toilet in a defunct state
  • +100 for anti-social gin consumption
  • +500,000 for missing a holiday (luckily no one has ever scored this – yet)

Monday 26th May 2014 – Hiding keys in the freezer for 26.5 hours with bonus points for various misdemeanors from the seeker – BABY SCORES 1,725! Huzzah.



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


58 thoughts on “The hiding stuff you really need game

  1. thenthefunbegan

    Argh! I feel for you. I’ve definitely had my keys hidden before, fortunately not in either the toilet or the freezer, but it made for an interesting 45 minutes of hair tearing and ever more desperate questioning of ‘innocent’ toddler…

    1. hurrahforgin

      Its hard to put into words how annoying it is! especially when you discover said item is missing just as you are walking out the door and you are already 5 minutes late!

  2. alisimpson1

    Haha, this is funny! I love reading your posts. Why do kids love to hide stuff?? My keys were in the airing cupboard yesterday! How much does my baby score?! Your keys must have been freezing at least mine were warm! Xx

  3. Jude

    This is awesome. My baby recieved bonus points for posting my debit card between the floorboards last week. Total game changer. x

  4. franglaisemummy

    My friend’s 18 month old hid her debit card on a visit to my house….we found it 10 days later. I’ll let her know how many points her son scored ;-)
    And huge congrats on getting through to the BiBs finals!!! xx

  5. Donna

    That photo!! hahahahahaha! How did they even get your keys in the freezer?! That would have been the LAST place anyone would have looked! I’m just disappointed the keys weren’t surrounded by a few frozen yorkshire puddings x

    1. hurrahforgin

      It was the baby, he can open the freezer door now! They were discovered accidentally by my husband looking for chips :)
      Oh and yes if you look closely you can see them covered in frost ha x

  6. Dinner by Dad

    This is fantastic; retrospectively of course! My son isn’t quite old enough to do this yet – but my nephew is. He ‘borrowed’ my sister’s credit card at the tender age of 14 months. The card wasn’t to be seen for a good 5 days – he even blamed its disappearance on the cat! It wasn’t until my brother-in-law felt a slight sharp object under his foot during a 2-hour walk in wellies that he realised the card had been placed there for ‘obvious’ safe keeping. Cancelled cards = 1; swear words muttered = hundreds; entertainment = endless (for those not taking part, of corse!). Great post :) had me chuckling away before bed!

  7. Caro

    Ha, I make that one screaming fit, one lot of anti-social gin consumption and four sear words. I think you held up remarkably well in the circumstances. I’d definitely have gone through the bin at least twice! I’m sure they do just think it’s all a hilarious game!

  8. tiasmum12

    Haha! Oh dear, this game sound like so much “fun”! I can’t wait till Tia’s a bit older so we can play this nicely together. P.s I’m made up you made the finals, wasn’t really a contest though I don’t think. You’re aces! X

  9. Confessions Of A SAHM

    Mine love to play this game! A few years ago it was our car keys. They mysteriously “appeared” after we had forked out £250 for the car’s locks to be changed and I have recently just found my iPhone after it being missing for 4 weeks!

  10. cariemay

    Oh clever baby! Around here it’s usually Kitty hiding things, and if you think to ask her she’ll quite often retrieve them quite willingly, you’re just left scratching your head as to how on earth she got hold of whatever it was that was lost!

  11. brummymummyof2

    Some fucker has hidden my wedding ring. A ring I got for my anniversary for Christmas. Two necklaces. I am livid beyond despair. And lest we forget the day ‘someone’ hid the bloody mobile when I had the newborn and needed to go out and wept and wept. THEY MAKE ME MAD (but I love them blah blah) xxx

  12. Notmyyearoff

    Haha ohhhh no I’ve never found our keys in the freezer…yet. I’ve found them in his pocket, in his rucksack and in his toy car. Took us 3 days to find them the last time!

  13. mummyofboygirltwins

    This is so funny and extremely clever! You make me laugh out loud!!! Well I’ve got twins so literally god help me. I’ll be screwed. I’ll never be able to leave the house again.

  14. racheljeffcoat

    The other day I baked a tea towel along with my chips, because I didn’t notice it was in the oven until the chips were done. Luckily it didn’t catch fire. THANKS, TODDLER.
    Huge congrats on the BIBs final!

  15. mummydaddyme

    I win (or LL wins) the best score of all time. This evening she managed to take Mr E’s phone off charge, crawl across the room with it to the bathroom, and then chuck it down the loo. It now doesn’t work. Oops. To say he was cross was an understatement. I reckon she gets like 100000 points for that. x

  16. Actually Mummy

    Haha! Our worst was the car keys. In actual fact it was my husband who had lost my keys so there was a lot of swearing. He eventually found them, inside the garage, where he’d left them, and used his own keys to lock the garage door! He didn’t score much for that ;)

  17. Not A Frumpy Mum

    Does it count if my mums dog once managed to lock me in the house by burying my keys down the back of the sofa whilst dog sitting? Making me an hour late for work that day!! And not even an excuse you can use without it looking like you made it up! x

  18. wrymummy

    So funny in hindsight but you must have been sweating cats hunting for those keys! I love the “non-verbal player who cannot be questioned”. They totally understand though, those babies. I bet he was watching you going “warmer, warm” in babyspeak, cackling like a drain inside. On the positive side, it proves that you don’t feed your kids entirely out of the freezer, like me, as it took you so long to open the drawer. Great post lovely! xx

  19. Joanne Mallon (@joannemallon)

    Sadly the disappearing stuff doesn’t stop when they get older. My kids have no real interest in hiding things now (too busy watching Youtube videos) but instead The Borrowers seem to have moved in. The good part about this is you can generally say out loud “I’d like my keys back now” and they will turn up just in the nick of time.

  20. Ann

    Lol, love it! Thankfully we seem to have passed that phase but not before my youngest posted my car/house keys in the bin. It was only when my car was ‘broken’ into I realised that pre-posting he has disabled the locks on the car. Ach well, that £220 to replace the keys wasn’t gonna spend itself!!!

  21. Rosie

    Apologies for lurking on older posts but I had to comment on this because I reckon my 17-month-old has to be the current champion of this game. His major coup to date is hiding our back door key for four months. Four. Months. We attempted questioning. We emptied bins. We emptied them again. We even gave him other keys and followed him around hoping he would lead us to his stash (a very foolish risk). Nothing. We’re actually just going to have to replace the lock. It’s got to be the quickest way to ensure that he produces that frigging key from his hair or something, anyway.

    New to your blog and have been loving having a good old chuckle and binge read, thank you!

  22. Emma

    feel for you … except my darling didn´t hide something we really NEED but rather my flippin´engagement ring in a bag destined for the tip during the week we were moving house! How many garbage bags did I fish through and how many moving boxes did I re-open? all of them! AGGGGHHH

  23. Katy

    Sorry to comment on an old post but I had to share… My youngest also went through this phase. I once caught her ‘planting’ my keys in a pot plant (never would have found those again) and she caused her big sister to miss a swimming lesson because she hid her swimsuit. I found it in the oven the next day.


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