To my biggest boy,
When you were born a little over four years ago you were bang on the 50th centile in both height and weight. I used to joke you were Mr. Average which would raise a few glances because no one wants to be average do they? Well I don’t know, it’s always suited me rather well.
And now here we are, about 10 seconds later, and you are starting school. Being just a few weeks past your 4th birthday you will perhaps become Mr. Below Average in many ways. A little smaller, a little sillier, a little less able to get your wee in the toilet bowl. It might take you a little longer to do things, you might not always understand.
Please remember that none of that stuff matters. Don’t ever let it. We have no aspirations for you other than to make friends and be happy. Everything else that is good in life is just a by-product of those things.
And so today was the day that we dropped you off, for all of 2 and 3/4 hours but it still felt like a huge deal. I never used to think it would be (free childcare right?), I always used to wonder why parents would cry at the school gates but now I get it. A heart that’s so full of pride, love and excitement feels pretty much like one that’s been broken in two.
I cried for the fact that you are moving into a world that we will soon become a much smaller part of and I cried for the fact that all the cutsey things you do, like giving your friends full face kisses, will soon become totally uncool. I cried for the fact that your lovely confidence might soon be shaken, for all the mean things that will undoubtedly be said, for the fact that the tumble dry function seems to have malfunctioned on the washer/dryer, oh no sorry that ones totally unrelated – but still!
But those are my own thoughts and worries and just as I hoped you don’t seem to share them. We took you asking us ‘Why are you still here?’ as a hint to leave.
You look proper dapper in your uniform you know. Sort of very grown up and very little all at once. Seeing you like that marked the end of an era. I may have publicly whinged and protested about being a largely stay at home mum but I do also feel very lucky to have had all that precious time with you. You drive me insane my strong willed boy, but I will miss you so much.
Above all though we are just very excited for you, did you know that school is epic? The girls I met on my first day, some 30 years ago, are still right here with me today and I sincerely hope you make those bonds too.
So best of luck Mr. Average, although I know you won’t really need it. You’ll never be just average to the people who love you.
**************P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)