So f*cking what If I dress like a mum?!

I keep seeing these sort of articles pop up every now and again – ‘Do you dress like a mum?’ or ‘How to avoid dressing like a mum!’

I took a quiz recently in a magazine to help determine if you dress like a mum and I passed…

dresslikeamum2

I was with my little sister at the time, who doesn’t even have kids, and guess what? She passed too.

sister

She was absolutely horrified! (only joking she didn’t give a shit).

I then looked at my husband and guess what – he also passed. So did my mum, which TBH was probably better than passing a ‘do you dress like a nan?’ quiz.

Next I answered the questions for my kids and would you believe it… they passed as well!

pooface

So what does this all mean? I had previously assumed that we were just normal people wearing normal people clothes – but no! My whole family are in fact dressing like mums. Bloody hell is no one immune from this curse?!

What should we do magazine article? Please tell us what to do!

‘You need a wardrobe overhaul.’ it said ‘Go to London. Book an appointment with a style advisor’. 

train

I would love to say that three generations of my family immediately rushed to the station to get the next train but I’m afraid it would be a lie. Unfortunately we didn’t have the time, money or inclination to overhaul our wardrobes because some twat in a magazine felt we were letting ourselves down, so my reaction was more along the lines of…

bollocks

Because who writes this kind of belittling crap?

Do they not realise that as much as some mums love to follow fashion, others might have different priorities? Do they not realise that some people have enough confidence in themselves that they don’t feel the need to dress to impress other people?

Do you know which accessory makes you look most like a mum of all? It’s the little people knocking about by your knees…

handbagI’d tell em to piss off but it just so happens I’m rather proud of them.

You see I am a mum. I love being a mum and I am certainly not embarrassed if people perceive me as one.

I get that a lot of mums care about how they look and want to stay stylish – I’m not immune from that group myself – I just like to flit between consciously putting together an outfit and looking like a hobo with stickers in her hair.

My issue is more…

ffs

It’s just jeans, trainers and t-shirts people! Let mums dress however they goddam like*.

*Although even I draw the line at Pyjamas on the school run.

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If you do feel like getting a little inspiration in the wardrobe department then Dress Like a Mum, Style Me Sunday and Two Stylish Mamas are some of my favourite instagram accounts.

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*FINAL CALL* to pre-order a signed copy of my new book (out in three weeks!) from WHSmith for just £7.79 here or you can nab standard copies from Amazon here :)

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32 thoughts on “So f*cking what If I dress like a mum?!

  1. Sonia Constant

    LMAO! That made me giggle.

    I am currently drafting up something about the PJ at the school gate, gate. But this is a different level.

    I bet I would not fit in the criteria as I have to go work straight from school drop off, does that mean I am not a good mum? LOL!!

    Reply
  2. Lucy

    Love this post HurrahforGin!
    Maybe you should have got on that train to London, then you could have set your kids on the numpty that wrote the article! Hahahahahaha :)

    Reply
  3. Jess

    If it’s any comfort to you at all, you’re not “meant” to dress at all differently, either. I honestly think it’s a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    As someone who tends to have a more alternative style, trust me, you cop plenty of judgement/weird looks from society at large, and sometimes your own kids. (“Why can’t you look NORMAL?” “Because when I try to dress like everyone else, it feels like I’m doing a bad parody of other people and it makes me feel self-conscious. Suck it up, kiddo, I’m *not* normal.”)

    And magazines are bollocks. It’s just a load of crap designed to sell stuff by making women feel lousy about themselves which makes them buy shit in at attempt to “fix” what they’ve been convinced is wrong with them. Parenting mags can be the WORST, too: sometimes they use airbrushed models who haven’t even HAD KIDS instead of the cover baby’s actual mum!

    Reply
  4. Alice

    I LOVE THIS! I’ve been pondering the fucking awful declaration of ‘dressing like a mum’ and it pisses me off no end. I spent my twenties wondering if I was wearing the wrong thing, and just as I come into my thirties all comfortable with who I am i’m suddenly told I’m no longer allowed to wear stripy tops and leggings? It’s shit… if I have slept three hours and want to wear a pair of M&S Jeggings and my ugg boots then I will, and I don’t care if that’s dressing like a mum. I feel like one!

    Reply
  5. JulesLt

    I live in London. And the mum’s round here wear stripey tops and converse. Along with some presumably not-mum’s.

    The shops also seem to support this idea, unless you go to West London where the ‘Russian hooker’ look makes you glad you happy to not have the money to shop there.

    He says, wearing skinny jeans, a striped top, and a pair of trainers.

    Reply
  6. Dean of Little Steps

    But skinny jeans and converse, that’s sort of like a staple in any woman’s wardrobe even if they are not mums! (And yep even 40+-year-olds like me) I agree, I also draw the line at pyjamas on the school run. Hiding pyjama tops under a jumper and coat and jeans is fine though ;)

    Reply
  7. Hannah

    I love this! Especially the “Do you know which accessory makes you look most like a mum of all?” part… We cant win can we?

    P.s If you have any tips for the walking 3 meters behind you thing, do share. Mine all like to either glue themselves to my hip or walk 2 cm’s infront of the pushchair and stop frequently. How they still have ankles I really dont know! They blatently dont care I look like a mum… yet anyway ;)

    Reply
  8. Correen

    Hahaha! I thought that stripey t-shirts, skinny jeans and converse was the student/hipster uniform. I’m obviously behind the times although my Mum did give me a few of the items on that list last year…
    Surely wearing a baby or carrying a small person makes you look like a Mum? I’m not ashamed of that!
    Mainly wish I could get the mud off my waterproof coat, baby wipes failed me.

    Reply
  9. Anna

    Only yesterday I renewed my wardrobe by buying more stripy t-shirts and a new pair of converse-esq shoes…. To go with my glued-to-my-legs jeans. If this means I look like a mum, great!! If not, great!! I think the biscuit stains around my knees and multi coloured pen on my arm make more of a style statement anyway :D

    Reply
  10. Tamsin

    YES! Thanks so much for this. Tired of the belittling crap that makes me feel like a shit human being for wearing clothes that I like. I dress the same as I did before my kid, so… go figure.

    Reply
  11. Natalie Ray

    I’m a mum but I’m not sure I’d pass the dressing like a mum test, give me a dressing like a tramp test any day. I’m all over that. Hoody, jeans that are washed once a month if they’re lucky, bodily fluids usually present on my entire outfit, said bodily fluids are never mine. I genuinely couldn’t give any less of a shit.

    Reply
  12. tanya carlile

    Worrying about WHAT you are dressed in? You should be celebrating that you ARE dressed. An outstanding feat when having to ensure your charges are awake, up, washed, toileted, fed and dressed before leaving the house. HURRAH to all dressed mums.

    Reply
  13. Jo Griffin

    What’s wrong with pyjamas on the school run?! Fascists! (I only ACTUALLY do this in my dreams.) (Or at least I would, if I was ever allowed to sleep long enough to have dreams.)

    Reply
  14. Adam

    Dress like a mum, be comfortable and stylish – even at the same time! But for heavens sake stop wearing fitness wear everywhere you go, particularly when you and neither going to or coming from the gym / exercise session. Almost every 2nd woman at the local shopping centres are doing it nowadays and, to me, they seem to think it looks good – well I’m over it! Skin tight fancy and expensive lycra gear with modern patterns and angular cuts with colorful bra straps hanging out are not on for a weekly shop at Coles, in my humble opinion.

    Reply
  15. Jenny

    Am I a,bad mum because I don’t know what converse trainers are and my t-shirts all have pictures on? I have lived in jeans t-shirt, trainers (when not working) for most of my adult life. Twice I let people give me make overs and they were the same sort of awful!

    Reply
  16. anna

    No PJs? Really? Shit! What about wellies and full waterproofs which is what I most often wear? With PJs underneath… often inside out…

    Reply
  17. Lindsay At Newcastle Family Life

    I dress like a mum and I honestly could not care. Imagine rocking up to do the school run dressed in half the clothes on the catwalk or whatever is in fashion at the moment,I would stick out like a sore thumb and get laughed at. Plus those clothes wouldn’t fit me anyway and I would look like a idiot. I bet the people who wrote that end up dressing ‘like a mum’ when they have kids too someday xx

    Reply
  18. Pingback: A Morning In The Life Of A Stay At Home Mum – The British Maple

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