Category Archives: Family

My 12 favourite things about Christmas

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A bowl full of christmas nuts ready to crack.
A car load of goodies a delight to unpack.

Pulling ridiculous Christmas jumper poses.
Debating the plus points of Quality Street vs. Roses.

Everyone’s hair has a sprinkling of glitter.
A surplus family member is freebie babysitter.

Mouth watering oven snacks from M&S.
Tearing off wrapping makes a colourful mess.

Eating (more) cheese and avoiding Boxing Day sales.
Cosy and comfy away from the gales.

Whats not to like when there’s mulled wine on tap?
Plus there’s bonus points for a well strategised nap*.

* although these may be outweighed by embarrassing photographic evidence

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Coping Strategies For Christmas

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As i peruse the photo i took today of F role playing with his Playmobil advent calender i wonder if the scene may be a premonition of the Christmas to come.

A rabid reindeer running amok (representing the small ones) bodies strewn amidst the chaos (those sensible enough to get drunk) santa pleading for his life with a mere carrot (a warning that any negotiations involving carrots are futile).

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This time last year…

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**Well actually it was more like 14 months ago but it didn’t have quite the same ring to it as a title so sue me ;)**

This time ‘just over’ a year ago we were jetting off on holiday to Cyprus. Septembers final fling with the diabolical summer that we had.

A chance for F to experience his first true taste of beach life, far away from the cold grey waters of home. A chance for us to spend so much time in and out of the water that we hardly have any shots of us in clothes.

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An open letter to Postman Pat

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Dear Pat,

I have tried to contact you via the Royal Mail but they are under the illusion that Greendale is a fictional place – what’s up with that?! You may find this letter a tad harsh but I feel I need to write to address you directly as your friends, family and colleagues seem unwilling or unable to give you any constructive feedback.

Lets cut to the chase. You are crap at your job and I have absolutely no idea how you managed to blag your promotion to Head of Special Delivery Services. You consistently lose, damage and/or open parcels you have been entrusted to deliver which is both stupid and illegal. Before you protest I have listed a few examples of your incompetence that have particularly riled me.

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The Boys

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My little Pirates! It’s been quite a while since i did a post on you two. This blog was meant to be a bit of an online diary but somehow it’s manifested into….well i don’t know really, just a place with random ranty spiel i suppose. Anyway, so i feel bad that i don’t mention the most important people in my life just a little bit more! Here we go then….

Little Mr. F wow your loud! You have an answer for everything, is there, um, anything you don’t know? The backchat has already began ‘No i won’t! you do it!’ We are probably shouldn’t laugh and I’m sure it will come back to bite us on our bums but you look so cute stomping your feet and announcing each word with an extra dollop of ‘spirit’.

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Breastfeeding Bribery B*llocks

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You can’t make this shit up can you?

Seriously, seriously, who in their right mind thought ‘I know, if we can’t convince mothers to breastfeed any other way why not bribe them?’ HURRAH!

I have problems with this scheme on many levels.

1. It’s not going to fricking work! In order to breastfeed you need to want to breastfeed. It’s the same as with giving up smoking, if the motivation is not there then you will never succeed.

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The difficult second date

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So the first date was a success! We pumped ourselves full of reconstituted chicken and gave birth to a fireman teddy bear. Pretty perfect, but difficult to top.

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Last week we finally managed to find a window of opportunity to get out on our own again and this time i was eager to take Little F to the cinema for the first time. Over the last 6 months he has actually started to enjoy watching a bit of television and on discovering the Disney Cars film he actually sat and watched it all – amazing!! Over an hour of sitting! Just sitting, not moving, SITTING! I was gobsmacked.

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