Expensive Looking Arms

Of late we have had quite a bad run of luck in our household which has included a car crash that was not my fault probably my fault, the boiler packing in and the cat starting to randomly shit behind the TV (again).

On top of this the Gro Clock that i used to worship at the alter of, seems to have malfunctioned. The sun now winks at me mockingly each bedtime as if to say ‘lol – you’ll be lucky!’ and the moon needs that smug, self-satisfied smirk wiping right off his stupid round face.

Too tired to do much else we permit the older one into bed with us as long as he abides by the rules of no whinging for milk, kicking, or conversing until 6am. Of course he oscillates wildly between each, often breaching all three simultaneously.

The conversation is always the most difficult to block out as he seems to store up incredibly curious quips to tempt me from my slumber. On Saturday in particular, he had a proper gem:-

[To set the scene – It’s too early in the morning, the boy has been in our bed irritating me for some time. His father sleeps, largely oblivious, as per fricking usual]

Mummy your arms are………….so………..expensive looking’

Oooh clever.

Although i try to suppress it, a smile spreads across my face. I’m not quite sure what he even means but i guess if my arms look like they cost more than other peoples that can only be a good thing right?

I start thinking about my arms.

Well they could be a lot more toned for sure but i guess they are not soooo bad, I wonder what sort of price tag they might command….

I check my phone, it’s now 5.45am.

I should continue to ignore him but this strange, nonsensical compliment has started to tickle my vanity. I reason, If not now, when else am i ever going to have the opportunity to discuss how ‘expensive looking‘ my arms are?

Casually i ask ‘Oh you think? What makes them look so expensive then?’


Alas, all of 3 seconds later, the moment is lost and he commences being irritating again.

I ponder the very real possibility that he has simply strung together a sentence based on random mutterings he has overheard; noting that i opt for ‘expensive looking’ things in place of the expensive things i cannot afford. Sigh.

But i choose not to dwell on this as i stumble downstairs to pour milk on the wrong side of morning; for today my upper limbs are ‘extra special’, of the ‘finest‘ variety! If you were to eat them you would probably be able to ‘taste the difference‘. Life is good.

And the boy…..well he lives to see another day.


All the Small Things - MummyNeverSleeps
Wot So Funee?



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


49 thoughts on “Expensive Looking Arms

  1. mummydaddyme

    Honestly Katie your posts just made me laugh out loud. Which isn’t cool cause LL is upstairs asleep and I am alone sat on the sofa. If anyone could see me they would suggest perhaps I wasn’t capable of looking after small people. ;)

  2. MummyNeverSleeps

    I love this! They are completely ridiculous and charming at the same time aren’t they? The other day I got “Mummy, you have BOOTIFUL ears!” Well, I’ll take that I guess. Brilliant post, and thanks so much for linking up xx

  3. Olivia FitzGerald

    This is great! My twins ask to go visit the granny and granda who are only a little bit fat (after they were told not to call them fat). The drawings are great too. I’ve submitted an article about blogging mummies to the Irish parenting magazine Mums and tots. Your blog is included as one of my favourite :0)

    1. hurrahforgin

      Oh that’s too funny Olivia – brutal honesty at its best!
      And thank you so much for including me in your article – truly touched! Please let me know when it comes out xx

      1. Olivia FitzGerald

        Of course I had to tell my parents and they cracked up laughing :0)) Magazine should be out around beginning of March, but I’ll put it up on my blog and do links to all the blogs in the article.

  4. JallieDaddy

    You may just have a very smart little boy there! Sounds a bit like he’s messing with your mind – either that, or he realises that flattery can achieve many things. Funny!

  5. Dean B

    Oh no, your boy certainly knows how to compliment women at such an early age! I hear trouble … Hope no one was hurt in that car accident which wasn’t your fault of course and that your luck ticks back in :)

  6. suzanne3childrenandit

    OK this actually made me lol in the real sense of the word! Your little chap is a clever one alright….and your husband needs a kick up the proverbial – how do men ALWAYS seem to manage to sleep through it all?!

  7. Mary

    They are sneaky little bed (and sleep) stealing machines, aren’t they?! But they do provide the best laughs and the biggest smiles too. Love this post.

      1. Frau Naish

        Double ouch! Please tell me he’s always done that and its not something we have ahead of us! Hope it stops soon hun xx

  8. thenthefunbegan

    Laugh out loud funny (I spelt it out – how old fashioned!) – perhaps this has some connection to him trying to saw off your legs the other day?? I’d be slightly worried if I were you! ;)

  9. Notmyyearoff

    Hahaa you do have one very smart boy there and obviously very observant to notice your elegant and pricey arms. And how the heck do men manage to sleep through everything?? Mine constantly asks “what time did he get in bed with us this morning?” Even when he’s the one that put him in!!

  10. jennypaulin

    haha you do make me laugh! expensive looking arms indeed – check you out! But it was the fact that when you went to ask what he meant, he was all about the milk again lol! brilliant x

  11. Jess @ Along Came Cherry

    HAHA! I never even knew I wanted expensive looking arms but now I kind of do! Cherry comes into our bed sometimes when she wakes stupidly early and oh my gosh it’s annoying! Last time she kept fiddling with this silly little box full of crap resulting in me and Mr C taking it turns to threaten to chuck it across the room! x


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