Category Archives: Me

Unfortunate Signs You Are Getting Old

Recently I’m sure I was like 25 or something. I’d just been going about, enjoying my business of being young and down with the kids when WHAM – what the hell?! Suddenly I’m no longer in the 25-34 age bracket, I’m in the 35-44 bracket and it hurts (like literally in my back when I bend over).

Can I really be more similar to a 44 year old than a 25 year old?! (No offence to 44 year olds it’s just, you know, you are older and that’s not my fault).

On a bad day if I look in the mirror I can see my skin slowly sliding off my skull. So I did a frantic Google for Sali Hughes anti ageing recommendations, followed by some spendy action and I was armed with the products promising to make me look 25 again. Whether they work, or whether they just make gullible people feel a bit more proactive I don’t know. Who cares. Right now they are worth the money either way.

Of course the changes are not just physical. There are many things that I now think/do that lead me to believe that night serums are not going to be a complete fix : –

  • If I go to Topshop I walk around thinking – too tight, too short, too midriff baring or too trendy.
  • My friend Emma told me that she buys her jeans from M&S and they are great. I am actually excited to try them myself.
  • To be honest though I prefer going pyjama shopping to clothes shopping.
  • I didn’t even feel vaguely tempted to watch Big Brother this year. Why is there nothing good on the TV these days?!
  • I felt stupidly pleased with myself for finally ordering a new cutlery basket for the dishwasher but it ruined by morning (day) when it didn’t fit properly.
  • I take my slippers with me when we go away.
  • I feel really pleased when It’s a nice day, mostly so I can dry the washing on the line.
  • I don’t like trashy magazines any more. I don’t know who all the people are.
  • I read the local neighbourhood magazine and enjoy it (more than Heat magazine).
  • I don’t really go out very much and I don’t really care.
  • I sometimes feel glad when people cancel plans on me.
  • In fact 95% of the parties I go to are kids ones (maybe even 99%).
  • On the rare occasions I do go out I am a total liability.
  • And then I still wake up at 6AM and my hangovers last 3 days.
  • When the toilet roll runs out I always put the new roll on the holder instead of leaving it sitting on the floor.
  • I don’t like it when technology changes. Windows 8 made me want to weep and my new laptop has a touch screen that I can’t seem to turn off. When I point at something on the screen, a keyboard pops up or something minimises and/or flies at me. I HATE IT SO BAD.
  • When I recently found a pair of boots I really liked I bought two pairs so that I wouldn’t have to feel sad when the first pair wore out. I feel very smug about this.
  • Sometimes I wonder if I should have bought 3 pairs.
  • We joined The National Trust and I fricking LOVE it.
  • Sometimes I work out the actual cost per visit vs. the price non members pay and I feel very smug about that too.
  • Feeling smug about stupid unimportant sh*t is definitely something old people do.

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Gin Bunny Prints

It occurred to me the other day that although I have been banging on about my foray into greetings cards on social media I haven’t talked about it on here; and soon as many people just follow this blog via email or visiting direct I thought I would give a quick into into my new venture how it all came about.

A couple of months ago I wrote a post about how me and J got together, the last image I drew was of us sitting on the sofa. As it seemed to resonate with a lot of people J said ‘Hey you could make pictures like that into cards!’

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So I did! And Gin Bunny Prints was born.

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I got to work creating a small range of cards, mostly self indulgent stuff featuring gin, bunnies and the like (hence the name) and launched about two weeks ago.

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The Backstory

I got married 3 years ago today so I thought I would write a little bit about how we actually came to be married – also I was thinking that If for whatever reason we die before I document it perhaps our children won’t ever know the wondrous tale!

Actually it’s not such a great story… I would like nothing better than to tell you a tale like the one of my Mum and Dad’s. They met in a pub, sat on a staircase, him sitting on the step behind her. They got chatting, he asked for her number and a few days later having totally forgotten her name, called her lodgings and asked to speak to the ‘northern nurse’. A brave and totally uncharacteristic moment for my dad which led to mine and my sisters very existence.

Our tale was more akin to a gradual wearing down.

We met at work. Our jobs were on a similar level but he had to produce reports for me and unfortunately, probably as they were deeply dull reports, he often got them wrong.

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We found each other mildly irritating for a while but slowly and surely over the course of a year we started to grow on each other.

We liked to stay up all night dancing.

rave2We were just friends but I started to realise that I didn’t enjoy things as much when he wasn’t there.

One day, after an award win at work, our company held an event to celebrate. They had loads free booze so we got drunk and snogged.

The next day everyone was hungover. I said I couldn’t believe it. No one else was surprised.

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Piles of stuff and boxes of crap

We have an incredibly organised filing system in our house for important documents and miscellaneous items. It goes a little something like this: –

  • The lift up lid box (aka foot stool) – lint rollers, tea lights, dusters, broken sunglasses and the digital thermometer
  • The kitchen scales – nail files, keys, clip safe things, bits of lego and used batteries helpfully mixed with new batteries
  • Kitchen table – magazines, nursery day sheets, unwritten thank you cards that will never get sent, gaffa tape and the latest Toys R Us catalogue
  • Blackboard key tidy thing – parking permits, chalk, safety pins, blue tack, party invites, hair bobbles and Calpol sachets
  • By the Printer – generally just a huge stack of various papers including bills, forms that need filling out, to do lists, the kids ‘art work’ and seasonal related goods such as the a panini world cup sticker album
  • The ‘to file’ box –  important documents that needs to be filed
  • The actual file – a bunch of old documents that need removing from the file so that stuff that actually needs to be filed, can be filed

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Expensive Looking Arms

Of late we have had quite a bad run of luck in our household which has included a car crash that was not my fault probably my fault, the boiler packing in and the cat starting to randomly shit behind the TV (again).

On top of this the Gro Clock that i used to worship at the alter of, seems to have malfunctioned. The sun now winks at me mockingly each bedtime as if to say ‘lol – you’ll be lucky!’ and the moon needs that smug, self-satisfied smirk wiping right off his stupid round face.

Too tired to do much else we permit the older one into bed with us as long as he abides by the rules of no whinging for milk, kicking, or conversing until 6am. Of course he oscillates wildly between each, often breaching all three simultaneously.

The conversation is always the most difficult to block out as he seems to store up incredibly curious quips to tempt me from my slumber. On Saturday in particular, he had a proper gem:-

[To set the scene – It’s too early in the morning, the boy has been in our bed irritating me for some time. His father sleeps, largely oblivious, as per fricking usual]

Mummy your arms are………….so………..expensive looking’

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A Dry January Diary

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Yep i’m still not bored of making labels just yet

Although it goes against every fiber or my being i have been attempting a Dry January. The very existence of the word ‘attempting’ may give you a clue as to the confidence i had within myself at the start of the month.

Here is a diary of my Journey so far:-

1st – Had lots of wine over lunch. I don’t think it can be seriously expected that people abstain on actual New Years Day. Dry January starts on the second. Obviously,
2nd – Abstained.
3rd – Abstained again – wow this is easy!
4th – Today is my birthday eve. We had a rare night out which, yes, included alcohol but who could begrudge me that?
5th – My actual birthday so see above. Perfectly allowed.
6th – Abstained.
7th – Abstained.
8th – Abstained.
9th – Tempted to give in but abstained – impressed by myself! 4th night running :)
10th – Friday night. I am exceptionally tempted to give in. J shouts from the kitchen ‘do you want a wine or a coke?‘ I say ‘coke’ (honestly) and the next thing i know there is a large glass of glistening white deliciousness in front of me. Did he mishear me or was this divine intervention? Never mind. The more important matter is that a bottle of Marlborough’s finest Sauvignon Blanc has been opened and i am not one for waste.
11th – Still some left so……

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New Year Goals

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I’m not one for New Years resolutions as such – like a lot of people i don’t see the point of making big changes just because it’s the New Year. If you want to do something badly enough then just do it anyway right?

The problem is that most people resolve to do things they don’t actually want to do but think they should, mainly giving stuff up (drinking, swearing, big macs etc) yawn. I won’t set resolutions but i have been thinking about goals – positive changes or things i want to do or achieve in 2014. This is them.

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The A-Z of me

I’ve not been following her fabulous blog for that long so i was honored to be tagged in ‘the A-Z of me’ by the lovely Suzanne over at 3 Children & It! You should check it out, it’s a great read. The idea is to find out a little more about the person behind the blog. It was a bit of a challenging one but here we go……

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A is for Artistic – I’ve always been a bit creative, i don’t have much time for that outlet right now but i love to draw, paint, create – also to write which is part of the reason i started this blog.

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