…you know, when you are lying in the bath trying to relax after a hard day and you start to notice eyes staring at you across the bubbles.
I counted them the other day. 18 pairs in the bathroom alone (not including my own). I wondered how many pairs there were in the whole house.
‘Count them’ said a voice in my head.
‘No, don’t be ridiculous it would take ages’
‘But don’t you want to know?’
‘A bit i suppose’
‘You might regret it if you don’t…’
‘YES! When you are old and grey it will pop into your head and you’ll think oooh i never knew how many eyes were in that house, i wish i had counted them, i really, REALLY do.’
‘Oh bloody hell! But I’m not counting all the ones in the toys boxes or all the farm animals as that would take too long. I’ll have to estimate them instead’
‘As long as you can live with the data being flawed.’
‘I think i can’
‘Ok – get on with it then!’
‘I’m having a bath’
‘I don’t care get on with it’
I dry myself off and grab a pen and paper. I decide not to do it naked so i also get dressed.
They were EVERYWHERE………
Some were much loved……
Some were surprising……
Some were a little obstructive……
Some were truly terrifying……
I go from room to room jotting down the totals. I don’t include any books or photos as that would be ridiculous. The results are somewhat alarming: –
Lounge/Dining room – 43
Kitchen – 9
The Baby’s room – 41.5
The Boy’s room – 74
‘OUR’ bedroom – 6 (?!)
Bathroom – 18
Toilet – 0 #winning
Estimates for non visible eyes – 80
Grand total = 271.5 pairs of eyes
It seems a slight imbalance to the 4 pairs of human eyes and 1 pair of cats eyes currently residing in our house.
‘See wasn’t that worth it?’ said the voice. ‘Don’t you think you will sleep better now that you know?’
‘Will i will sleep better knowing that only 1.81% of the eyes in our house are living???’
‘Oh – ha, yeh see your point…you could sleep in the toilet?’
: – /
**************P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)