Do you ever get the feeling you are being watched?

…you know, when you are lying in the bath trying to relax after a hard day and you start to notice eyes staring at you across the bubbles.


I counted them the other day. 18 pairs in the bathroom alone (not including my own). I wondered how many pairs there were in the whole house.

‘Count them’ said a voice in my head.

‘No, don’t be ridiculous it would take ages’

‘But don’t you want to know?’

‘A bit i suppose’

‘You might regret it if you don’t…’

‘Will I?’

‘YES! When you are old and grey it will pop into your head and you’ll think oooh i never knew how many eyes were in that house, i wish i had counted them, i really, REALLY do.’

‘Oh bloody hell! But I’m not counting all the ones in the toys boxes or all the farm animals as that would take too long. I’ll have to estimate them instead’

‘As long as you can live with the data being flawed.’

‘I think i can’

‘Ok – get on with it then!’

‘I’m having a bath’

‘I don’t care get on with it’

‘Ok’ :(

I dry myself off and grab a pen and paper. I decide not to do it naked so i also get dressed.

They were EVERYWHERE………


Some were much loved……


Some were surprising……


Some were a little obstructive……


Some were truly terrifying……


I go from room to room jotting down the totals. I don’t include any books or photos as that would be ridiculous. The results are somewhat alarming: –

Lounge/Dining room – 43
Kitchen – 9
The Baby’s room – 41.5
The Boy’s room – 74
‘OUR’ bedroom – 6 (?!)
Bathroom – 18
Toilet – 0 #winning
Estimates for non visible eyes – 80
Grand total = 271.5 pairs of eyes

It seems a slight imbalance to the 4 pairs of human eyes and 1 pair of cats eyes currently residing in our house.

‘See wasn’t that worth it?’ said the voice. ‘Don’t you think you will sleep better now that you know?’

‘Will i will sleep better knowing that only 1.81% of the eyes in our house are living???’

‘Oh – ha, yeh see your point…you could sleep in the toilet?’

: – /



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


47 thoughts on “Do you ever get the feeling you are being watched?

  1. Complicated Gorgeousness

    Haha I’ve just been reading through your blog (only just found it – shame on me). I can’t believe you counted all the eyes!! Love your rants too – wish I felt so strongly about stuff other than crisp flavours. Brilliant stuff xx

  2. notafrumpymum

    Sadly, I’m sat here trying to do a right estimate of how many are in our house. Where did you get those Postman Pats from, they’re terrifying!!


    Flipping heck that’s a lot of plastic/wooden eyes looking at us all day-the horror version of Toy Story…don’t even get me started on cars that go beep in the night-FREAKY! Fab post x

  4. Kerrie McGiveron

    urgh I never even thought of this…*looks around for eyes* I like that you worked it out dead accurate. On an unrelated note, we once had Postman Pat’s cat Jess – it miaowed but then Emily took it in the bath with her. From then on it just made a weird death moan constantly – and don’t get me started on it’s eyes.

    Great post.

  5. loupops

    OMG I have actually considered this!! Also, when I lived at my mum and dad’s I had pine wardrobes that went over my bed. I was convinced that the knots in the wood were eyes and terrified myself so much that I had to sleep right under the covers! I’m not ashamed to say that this was in my late teens. Having an overactive imagination is FUN! ;)

  6. cariemay

    Eek! The thought of so many watching eyes rather gives me the heebie jeebies – and rather bizarrely makes me want to go and count ours!

    Just whatever you do – don’t blink!!

  7. Jenny

    You are hilarious, so funny you counted the eyes in your house. Something I would do. I am a wuss when I was little couldn’t have any toy looking at me inmy room especially dolls when I went to bed. I often look around the bath now and think they are all looking at me. lol hahaha So funny. Great post. I see on butwhymummywhy you will be cohosting a new linky. I look forward to it. :)


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