The Top Six Things My Kids Fight About

There are people who have kids that get on and look out for each other, and then there are people who have kids where the best possible scenario is that they are completely ignoring each other at separate ends of the room.  We fall into the latter camp – YAY!

If I’m honest It often feels like I can’t leave the room for five seconds without a full on war breaking out. Here are a few of the things that they regularly argue about while I am trying to make tea/hang the washing up/generally get sh*t done: –

1. ‘That’s mine!’ related arguments.

Doesn’t matter what it is, some screwed up bit of an old Cbeebies magazine that was plucked out of the bin, whatever, If it was once yours and someone else is now touching it then that is grounds to go batshit crazy until you get it back.

Then when you get it back you can immediately discard it because you never REALLY wanted it in the first place. Obviously.

This also extends to feeling threatened by another person because they are LOOKING (gasps) at something you are playing with.


2. TV related arguments.

Including – ‘He’s watched two episodes of his programme and I’ve only watched one of mine’, ‘He’s standing in front of the TV and I can’t see’, ‘He turned my programme off and It wasn’t finished yet’, and ‘He is shouting and I can’t hear’ etc. etc.


Even If I find something they are both happy to watch and I’ve managed to get them to sit down sensibly on the sofa we get…

3. Proximity related arguments.


If I sit with them to try and keep the peace then they fight over me like a piece of meat…


4. ‘Me first!’ related arguments. 

I have (mostly) become a bit of a pro at avoidance techniques on this one. It’s like silver service round ours – I make sure I place their plates and cups and snacks on the table at EXACTLY the same time.

I can do nothing to quell the storm of the ‘who gets taken out of the car first’ arguments though, to be fair on them it is a biggie. Who wouldn’t fight tooth and nail for the much coveted prize of getting to stand on the pavement for an extra 10 seconds…? Exactly.


5. Cutlery related arguments.

I find this one frustrating because I often get it wrong, through no fault of my own, but because the favourite spoons, plates and other very similar, yet also incredibly different, tableware preferences seem to change on a daily basis.

mine soon

I doubt his argument would stack up very well in a courtroom…

Me: I present to the courtroom Exhibit A, a document dated err YESTERDAY stating that the defendant’s ‘special spoon’ (N.B not to be pronounced ‘soon’) is the one with the orange handle with a chip at the top. Is that your name there alongside the crude drawing of Raphael from the Ninja Turtles?

The Boy: Oh yeh Raf he’s my favourite.

Me: Then I put it to you that the spoon your brother is currently holding is not your favourite and you are only saying it is to wind him up!

*audible gasps from the gallery*


The Boy (head hung in shame): It’s the orange one with the chip.

Me: I rest my case.

6. Bath Time Arguments.

Ahhh one of my favourite times of the day. A warm, peaceful, relaxing environment perfect for winding down before bed.


Siblings eh, who’d have em?!



P.S. I have a new book OUT NOW! You can nab it on Amazon here or in your lovely local bookshop :)


29 thoughts on “The Top Six Things My Kids Fight About

  1. LauraCYMFT

    Heheheh! My two tend to get on most of the time but they do have some of the most random arguments ever. Generally, I just hide in the kitchen until it is over.

  2. Rainbowdash

    Mine were fighting in the bathroom this morning about who was sitting on the toilet “she got up to get toilet paper and I was BUSTING for a wee” / “she elbowed me while I was trying to wipe my bottom”…..

  3. Tony E

    My boys are your boys when I read the above. Awesome not to be alone in the war. We’ve had actual murder attempts from No.1 – coming out of nowhere like a ninjago and stamping on No.2’s head.

    No.2 will get a nose bleed at the drop of a hat after the blows he has taken from No.1….

    Actually they are both little No.2’s!
    Keep writing. Your blog rocks.

  4. Ali

    Yep all of the above, plus my personal favourite whilst on car journeys ‘he’s looking out of my window’. Ps thanks for the cards and sorry I can’t count

    1. Jen Allford

      Thank goodness someone else’s do that!! They then argue about who saw the digger first, even if it was me pointing it out. If it was out one particular side then clearly whoever else saw it is in the wrong because it wasn’t from THEIR window!

  5. Kerry Twyman

    Brilliant – and so very close to home. The only difference is that I have 3 and the youngest is just joining the fray – oh the joy!

  6. Meryl @ Simple Family Home

    Hahaha! I love these. We have half of them and my second son is only 1 and still can’t talk :/ But I can utterly relate to being a piece of meat in the middle of a baby and child mob. Maybe my kids are just feral ;)

  7. Missmuffetuk17

    I didnt know you had cameras in my house!!! I have EXACTLY the same fights in my house (I have 2 boys too, 7 and 5). But for all their fighting and arguing they hate it when the other one is out and not with them!!! Brotherly love!!!

  8. Tim

    Oh yes, we get plenty of this. Particularly amusing/exasperating is the dispute that arises when I sit down to watch TV with one of them and the other two will insist on squeezing in just as closely so that eventually they’re all perched on top of me like I’m some kind of human chaise longue. Comfortable it ain’t!

  9. YukonJen

    OMG. How can you be so spot on? You are describing my two sons. EXACTLY. You just made my day. Knowing that it is happening to you too.

    Hope you are getting on better with the BIG BOY BED. I found that as soon as I simply explained that he must stay in bed, he stayed in bed. It was almost too easy for me.

    I feel like I should send you some wine. S

  10. Gemma

    It’s like you wrote it about my house but there’s also I was talking first. It’s a difficult one because as no one listens to anyone, everyone thinks they are the only one with the right to talk. Give me strength (and gin).

    1. Missmuffetuk17

      I get the opposite! ‘Jinx you cant speak’ both saying it at the same time so repeated for about 10 times then followed by ‘mummeeeeeeee!! he is still talking and I jinxed him’ and ‘Noooo!!!! I jinxed him and he still talking’ ARGHHHH!! *tears hair out*

  11. Mylittledreamworld1

    Great post as always Katie. My girls get on okay, but even that means a few daily arguments. My big girl is cuddle, my little girl isn’t so that causes bother. And sharing – we need 2 of everything just Incase. Love your posts xx

  12. mardykerrie

    Yes to all of these. It’s even weirder because my Rosie calls Alice “him” and “he” – having no sense of gender at such a young age. So we frequently hear: “HE’S SITTING ON MY LEG” or “HE’S GOT MY FING* and we just think “Who? What boy? ” And also, what Fing??

    * “Fing” could be anything.

    Weirdos… Great post, Gin xxx

  13. maddie

    Seriously loved this, totally my life. I have three kids but only two fight like that. I have 4 year old twins and an almost three year old. The boy twin and my 2 year old daughter fight about everythings! It’s never ending with them. Usually it’s her coming to me in tears saying he called her a baby. Or they both are going ape over some half broken toy that was found at the bottom of the closet. Sigh!

  14. Maria

    Hahaha! I love these. We have half of them and my second son is only 1 and still can’t talk :/ But I can utterly relate to being a piece of meat in the middle of a baby and child mob. Maybe my kids are just feral ;)


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